Forgiveness is necessary for growth...

Forgiveness is an easy concept to understand but a little harder for me to put into practice. Forgiveness is pragmatic. Simplistic. Fundamental even. Difficult to achieve, right away.

I understand I need to be able to forgive myself first for all of my mistakes. The biggest being the fact that I ignored the warnings of my higher self more than once. Once that is achieved it will be easier for me to forgive those who have caused me pain (irregardless of the form the pain was issued in).

Everyday I ask God to show me how to forgive myself so I can begin the next chapter of my beautiful life. Because my life is beautiful. With all of the ugly I have survived and overcome I still have beauty in my life. I am not referring to physical beauty either. That is subjective and a topic for another day.

Forgiveness is possible, even for me because I have more beautiful things to discover and explore in this life...

Relationships 101

When you first meet someone and you believe you are compatible, take a moment of silence to listen to your gut instinct. It will not steer you wrong. Ignoring your gut definitely will have you turning left into a corn field you had NO intention of going into (like a faulty GPS system) and scrambling to figure out how to get back on track.

Granted respect and trust are earned, the first time disrespect and mistrust jump out at you do yourself a favor and put some time and space between you...

I let mistrust and disrespect go unchecked. Speaking up about it while remaining in the situation does nothing hence why I say I let it go unchecked. Now it is at a critical point because my partner chooses to believe his behavior is correct and just but exacts full revenge should someone pull those same behaviors on him.

 Respect is respect and every action has an equal reaction...

Trust and Insecurities Don't Mix

Insecurity breeds an environment of mistrust. When you add to that a lack of respect and accountability you have a recipe for domestic violence. A volatile situation that could quickly and easily turn deadly. Especially with children involved.

Recognizing the situation is the first step to safety. Actually leaving safely is a bit more tricky and needs some skillful planning...

Spring has sprung!

Okay spring came in with jokes. About close to half a foot of snow on the first day of spring type of jokes. I'm not laughing though because I am looking forward to planting season and the melting snow means less water I have to use - for now.

Not too many people realize how much money they could save (not to mention how much healthier they could be) by growing some of their own food. First off, home grown tomatoes and cucumbers taste much better than store bought. They have less pesticides and you control your cost. Secondly, any (uncooked) fruits and vegetables can be used for compost instead of tossed in the garbage.

I love the taste of fresh picked bell pepper or celery or peppermint. Pop some peppermint leaves off, wash them and put each leaf in an ice tray section then fill with water and freeze normally - presto! you have ice cubes with a minty twist.

 Spring has always lifted my spirits. I think it's because spring represents rebirth and renewal of life. Until next time, happy planting!

Interracial Relationships

That was the hot topic on Sistahs With Purpose last night. Several gentleman called in and gave some  incredible insight into African American men's reasons for dating outside of their race. One of those reasons included African American women are collectively viewed as poor and not being able to sustain an image of wealth and success. Another reason stated was the women having a 'super woman' attitude and seeking out men they can control.

I disagree with that. Being an African American woman I have not ever sought out a mate I could control, nor do I have a need to 'do it all' myself. In a mate what attracts me beyond physical looks - intelligence.

What I have experienced has been abandonment on several levels. That garners an atmosphere of mistrust and insecurity.

Even with those experiences I still have hope because I understand that on a world level the African family can recover and rebuild our infrastructure. I understand on an individual level it takes one family at a time to break the viscious cycle of abandonment. My African brothers will always be attractive to me because no group of men on this planet could have survived 500+ years of oppression and systematic distruction of the family unit and continue as my African brothers have.


Brothers, I will always admire your strength and tenacity. But only you can reclaim your thrones. We are waiting for you to take your places at the heads of our tables, homes, and society...

Feeling Worn Down

It's funny how the past is not ever far from you no matter how fast you run from it. The sheer exhaustion of realizing that the love and energy you invested in a relationship was wasted because the other party has NO intention of truly doing right by me. Haven't I been here before??? Right, ten years ago this year in my previous relationship...

Head hurts, heart hurts, mind and body hurts.

My Firstborn Turned 16!

It took a few days to let the reality of it sink in - my firstborn turned 16 years old on March 7th. Time flies when you're not watching it. It seems like just yesterday he was hanging out with my students in the 4-5 year old room at Zion Baptist Daycare Center. Now he's a young man. My baby is grown up... "We're walking down the path, through the crunchy leaves..." I love you Tyrice.

Love is a drug too...

I am constantly reflecting on myself and the choices I make in life but too many times I second guess myself - to my own detriment. A long time ago I fell in love and it was beautiful. I felt beautiful, I was happy. I was secure in my relationship. One miscommunication, one misunderstanding and it was over.

 Emotionally I checked into Heartbreak Hell. Roomed up for a couple of months until I met someone else. I stayed at a comfortable distance for a while until - BAM! - another mis-communication occurred with my first love. This time instead of diving back into my room at Heartbreak Hell, I dove head first completely into the new relationship. The result, my family began and I spent the better part of 8 years trying to convince my new love that I wouldn't leave him for my first love. The result: three handsome sons and severe emotional battle scars. That relationship ended nasty...

I take full responsibility for that outcome because I had not ever fully severed ties with my first love... I tried recreating that full blossoming feeling in my second relationship and, well, hence why it didn't work. It's like trying to train a cat to behave like a dog so you can have that companionship... it's not ever going to work.

That is what love does, it makes you feel like anything and everything is possible and nothing else exists but the two of you. And when you lose that it's like a pound of tnt exploded in your heart and all you want to do is recapture that wonderful, carefree, Godly feeling again - at any cost.

But the reality is, that is a rare thing to find - true love and once it's gone, it's gone...

It's Official!

As of last night's show, I have officially been handed the host's microphone as a new member of the BRPP radio show family. As the new co-host of Sistahs with Purpose I want to thank Kim Morrow because without her vision and purpose this platform would not be. Thank you to the author Yani for inviting me to listen in to the show all those weeks ago. Thank you to Tina Wright for inviting me to be a guest host on the show and upon her promotion to bigger and greater things, offering her blessed microphone to me. Thank you BRPP family for welcoming me into the fold. Last but not least, thank you Benjamin J  Patterson for a lively and informative interview last night on the show. I look forward to reading your book Joe, Bubbles and Buttons. 
 

Who's the new co-host of Sistahs with Purpose?

Me!!! I was offered the position today because Ms. Tina was promoted to station manager. So excited and nervous! Thank you God for this opportunity because I neeeed it! Remember Sistahs with Purpose airs live on Wednesday nights from 9:00 - 11:00 p.m. EST. Just call in @ (773) 897-6297 to listen in and press 1 to speak to the hosts. Talk to you later!