Lead Based Therapy Comforts Me...

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Stress, panic, you name it I've got it. A research paper, my job, and life is collectively crowding my mental space. I don't have a new outlet to release all of this pent up energy and I feel myself reaching my maximum when I am ready to cut and run. I don't like that feeling. I have had enough of that bullshit to last me the rest of my days. I am not going into 2009 with lingering remnants of the dumb shit from the last ten years. Not one solitaire drop of it will follow me into the new year. That is why I am writing it like this, to release it.

Scared of Lonely

Crying tears of hurt that refuse to leave,

Scars of fights linger past that refuse to heal.

My legs are tired from running,

From my past, present and future

For fear of repeating past mistakes and missing future opportunities.

Walls all around me

Threatening to close me in

Tightening the encasement I see

Above, in front, behind, below…

I’m scared of lonely

Lost in my thoughts of not recovering

From that long ago

That held me in captivity,

That long ago that blocked my breathing,

Off in the distance I hear

The subtle beat of

The drums,

My drums,

In the distance.

The drums spur me, although

I’m scared of lonely

In the dark the tears pour

Racing from my eyes

In time with my thoughts,

Racing against the fears that appear under the cover of night

The fears that drive me to keep moving

To keep racing

To keep trying

Yet no one sees deep enough

Far enough

Or long enough

To see…

I’m scared,

Scared to reach out,

Scared to isolate

Scared to retreat

Scared to run forward

Scared of lonely…

Speechless

Over these last few weeks I have been overwhelmed emotionally, more so than normal. And being overwhelmed is not normal. My dog, Scruffy, died. I am accepting the reality that my current partner is chauvinistic and immature. My ex had a stroke 2 nights ago and our eldest son had to call 911 to get him help (which saved his life). And my current partner, amidst his own temper tantrums, is angry because I went to make sure that the father of my three older sons is okay...

Breathe...

Aside from that I have begun doing solo interviews on BRPP Radio via the Sistahs With Purpose show which broadcasts on Wednesday nights at 9 pm EST and occasionally I host interviews on the BRPP Presents: The Interviewers show on Thursday nights at 9 pm EST.

Breathe...

I have begun editing and updating Entangled Hearts for re-release this year under my pseudonym Why Yet. I have also paused working on A Drink of Freedom, for now. I need to get my own drink of freedom before I can finish this story.

Breathe...

Chava turned one last week and Yehudi is completely potty trained. She has been wearing underwear during the day and night for two weeks now. No accidents.

Breathe... 

Interview with Phillip Berrian

He was inspired by God, so he wrote. Took pen to paper and followed his path. Creating poems and short stories to inspire hope, Phillip Berrian crafted the work Testimonial of One's True Greatness.

Join us Thursday, May 21, 2015 for a live interview with Phillip Berrian as he gives us insight into how we can discover our own testimonies. Live on the BRPP Interviewers station via Blogtalk.com .
Call 646-716-5330 to listen to the show. Press 1 to ask Phillip Berrian questions. Leave a comment on our Facebook event page:

 Interview with Phillip Berrian

Happy Mother's Day!

Happy mother's day mom. Thank you for raising me right and instilling in me the values I strive to pass down to my children. I am because you are. Thank you.

Happy mother's day to all of the mothers all across the world who work tirelessly to care for and raise their children! I tip my hat to you.

Enjoy your day and may you all be celebrated everyday.

Character Building

Michael Harriston is a successful detective in the Philadelphia police department. He is a twelve year veteran and newly married to Georgia, his girlfriend of two years. He suspects that she is secretly attracted to his partner of twelve years, Roberts. He also suspects Roberts of trying to undercut him for the opened captain spot on the force. Michael has to choose between saving his job or saving his marriage... this tests his patience to the limit. How does he cope?

Mentally Overloaded

Chasing behind two toddlers. Mourning the loss of our dog, Scruffy. Learning to make all natural body butter. Lack of sleep. Preparing for radio show every Wednesday night. The gold is at the end of the rainbow. It has to be. And a breakthrough must be near because I am close to my breaking point.

 So I opted to make a couple of no-bake cheese cakes to ease my mind. The first was an apple cheesecake. Oh, oh deliciously gorgeous! The second one was a mint chocolate cheesecake. Heavenly minty and lightly chocolate.

You ran and ran and ran

around my emotions like quicksand

after asking for my attention and affection.

You played with my emotions like a hand of black jack

threw other females in my face 
pushed my affection to the back

like I was second rate.
Now I'm at the point where I don't give a damn anymore

my feelings are raw and my emotions are sore

but you wanna try and blame ME

for the lack of intimacy

YOU created
when you gave X, Y, Z your attention...

Funny

- Why Yet 5/4/15

A Drink of Freedom

I started writing this story about Georgia, a young woman desperately trying to get away from her abusive husband Michael. I called it A Drink of Freedom because she just wants a taste of freedom.

A Drink of Freedom Pt 1

A Drink of Freedom Pt 2

 A Drink of Freedom Pt 3

 A Drink of Freedom Pt 4

 Read the story and let me know what you think. What's going to happen next?