Mon Dieu Anmwe!

Ou fou! That is the world's sentiment whenever change is coming. When will these ignorant excuses for people realize that racial intimidation is so passe? The New York Times should not have even allowed the cartoonist to submit such an ignorant thing to be displayed in their paper. But then again that lets the world know the owners true views at the New York Times newspaper.

Li fou!
That is for Sandra Herold, the Connecticut woman who thought it would be a cool thing to have a chimpanzee as a pet.(See children, these are the types of things people do when they de-value and disrespect the importance of a good education). She slept in the bed with the chimp, she dressed him up like a little boy, she took him out driving and then was shocked when he attacked her friend. How much of a friend could Sandra be when she tells reporters that there were no warning signs of the chimps madness and she would care for him again if given the chance to do it over? Now Sandra's friend, Charla Nash, is still in surgery trying to recover from her vicious mauling. My question is, what made the chimp attack Charla in the first place? Animals respond to the laws of nature, so what sent Travis (the chimp) over the edge? Why was the chimp sleeping in the bed with Sandra?? Does anyone else find this to be extremely disturbing?

Li fou! That is for the "octo-mom" who decided that having more children was more important than helping her mother pay the mortgage on the house that she and her six (now 8) children share with grandmom. Unemployed, unmarried, more than a dozen children in how big of a house? The odds are not in Nadya Suleman's favor. Anmwe!!

Always Something There to Remind Me...

... about the funny things in life. I have two other co-workers in the office and they are hilarious. I was laughing so hard today it was ridiculous. I am going to surprise my mother for Valentine's Day. I ordered a dozen roses and will have them delivered to her job tomorrow. Not bad for a working girl at a "real" 9 to 5 as some ignorant middle-aged woman so rudely suggested to me once. On a lighter note tax season is not as bad as it had begun but I still don't want to go into processing income tax refunds once I have my degree in hand. I am going into another field completely...

The Little Girl in Me

The little girl in me
likes the simple things in life
finding ways to interact with
the grown woman I am.

The little girl in me
still fears things
she can not control
clashing with
the carefree woman I am.

The little girl in me
looks for the little boy
who wants to play fairly,
yet unable to find him.

The little girl in me
sees the reality of what
the grown up me wants to hide,
but it doesn't work.

Sometimes the grown woman
wants to tell the little girl in me
not to hope or search for a grown up man
to fulfill her needs
because sometimes they can't.

Sometimes the grown woman
wants to tell the little girl in me
to save her energy and work on her only.

I can't seem to discourage
the little girl in me
because that is what makes her innocent
and beautiful.

The grown up me has to show
the little girl in me
that life is good
and beautiful
even when it's ugly...

Deep Changes

I can't change the thought of a person. I can't change the belief of a person. All I can change is me. ME. That's it. I will always be me to the end of my days. I help people, it's a flaw I have yet to find a balance for because my eagerness to help has gotten me into trouble that I have a hard time getting out of. Should I be able to do or show someone something, I do it. Who am I to deny anyone information who truly wants to learn? Especially if the information was given to me freely. How I receive it is how I will return it.

I like the simple things in life. I like peace. I like pleasantries. I expect to receive the same treatment I give but everyone doesn't think that way. Everyone doesn't feel that way... That is why the world is in a shit hole right now. Too many people spending time being suspicious of other people instead of being open and honest about their feelings and motives.

Dear Mama...

I had a wonderful conversation with my mother tonight. I was in the middle of doing homework and had the urge to talk to her. It's been a long time since I had a heart to heart talk with my mother. We were on the phone for an hour and a half talking about life, love and raising children. Go figure. Had someone told me ten years ago that I would be talking to my mother about love and raising children I would have laughed. Not because I don't believe she had anything to say but because I believed we would have a difference of opinion that would leave me upset and wondering why I had tried to talk to her in the first place.

We had actually saw eye to eye tonight. I believe she saw what I was feeling without me saying a word, that mother sense never goes away, it only enhances with time. That is why I treasure my mother. I had my children and began to understand the pain she felt while raising us. All of the hurt and pain she endured while raising us, and because she was raising us. The faith and love she put into a being that did not ever have her best interest at heart but her willingness to endure it anyway for the sake of her children. I see similarities within myself... Patterns that are running in the course of my life. I am grateful for my mother's wisdom and understanding to be able to encourage me through all of the bullshit and veiled undercurrents of people's motives...

Again, Beyonce's music has allowed myself to exhale and release all of that energy that does not belong to me. All of the misconceptions, misdirections, misdeeds, and misfires that aren't mine, that I will not own.

Shoshana and her sister took me out to dinner for my birthday. That in itself speaks volumes. Need I say more?

Never again, I told myself
Not ever would I allow my guard down
opening up for vulnerability
to knock me over.
Never again, I told myself
not ever would I allow others
to open up my senses
for misuse...
Love leaves you vulnerable
to battle scars unnumerable...
I looked away,
again and again
only hurting myself
by not being true to myself
and allowing myself to be happy
with me,
by myself.
You don't have to try so hard...
to allow others in
to be a part
of someone
else
who
obviously
isn't fully invested...