Growing Babies

My oldest son will be 7 on tuesday. Time is going by soo fast. Ten years from now he will be where I was nine years ago. Ten years ago I never thought I would be at this point in my life, raising children and steadily working to maintain everything. It's scary. On New Years day I told myself this was going to be my year and as I see it unfolding I feel fear trying to paralyze me.

Paralyzing Fear

Gripped tight,
throat constricted,
gasping for air
in this dark space;
I feel my muscles weaken
refusing to work,
to follow my will.
I am afraid.
Unable to control
these happenings,
why me?
I plead silently in the quiet.
Squeezing shut my eyes
I pray to wake up
from this paralyzing fear...